Mind Games Synopsis

I’m entering the Literature Works, First Page competition and it requires a synopsis of 150 words. I’ve got to post the entry, which needs to be in by 30th Sept. Some feedback would be great. Imagine it read by movie trailer voiceover guy:
A man wakes up on a train and doesn’t know who he is or where he’s going. Piecing his life together, he becomes convinced that a girl called Inge holds the key to who he is. Is she a girlfriend or enemy? And why can’t he find her?

In another place and time, in The Dream Library, The Custodian cares for the Navigator – one who travels through dreams to uncover universal truths, for those who want to know them. When an intruder sabotages the Navigator’s latest journey, The Custodian must risk everything to save himself, the Navigator and the Library.

The Custodian ventures into the city, were he meets the emotionally distant mathemagicians, who manipulate the world around them using algebraic formulas. Only they can help him find the answers he seeks.

Two men, worlds apart, but inextricably linked by the realm of dreams and an unknown enemy.

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5 thoughts on “Mind Games Synopsis

  1. I think that’s excellent too, a lot to fit in in 150 words but you give a good sense of it. Agree that it needs to come back to him, maybe some clue as to how their worlds could be linked. Also, rather than ‘piecing his life together’ – is there something more specific that could make this a more a more intriguing hook, e.g. A man on a train, no memory of who his is, the only clue a photo in his pocket of a woman, with the word ‘Inge’ scribbled on the back. (I know that’s not what happened just an example). It’s so hard to give an overview so briefly without things sounding too general or over-simplified (I’m having that problem) but this is the only phrase that I thought needed something extra to nail it down.

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    • Hi Jenny – thanks for the feedback. I’ve just posted the entry. I did add Martine’s suggestion, but missed yours until now. It would have been a big ask in terms of wordage. It’s a tough, but good exercise. A lot of mine is general because I still haven’t fully nailed the story – STILL!!

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  2. That’s really good. I think you’ve more or less nailed it.

    My feeling is that you need to mention Jay again, though, as the ongoing story currently seems unbalanced. Suggest para 3. Custodian ventures … using algebraic formulas. (instead of the next sentence maybe something like) Meanwhile, on Earth, a forgotten man must find himself.

    Or your words to that effect.

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